Our story is one of little significance. That fact was so hard for me to accept at first. Everyone wants to believe they have a purpose in this world, one that consist of so much more than living and dying. To die is to be forgotten like you never lived. Like you never took a breath, felt the warmth of the sun on your skin, or basked in the glow of a full moon. When I say everyone feels this way I do mean every single living person on this planet whether they be human or vampire. I have learned many facts during my time in darkness, like when you undergo the change from human to vampire, you lose parts of yourself along the way. No… lose is the wrong word; change I guess is the better word. You change parts of yourself along the way but not all of you. I have found that when you change you always only keep that which is most poisonous about yourself. Your vices in life will always follow you onto the other side. These vices manifest themselves in curious ways. Now you might disagree with me but I really don’t care what you think because I am speaking from my own experiences not yours. If you don’t like what you hear then by all means turn your attention to any of the other scribbles on paper in this library for us damned.
Don’t worry you won’t hurt my feelings, trust me. I don’t know who you are and I never will. And if you’re one of Them and your reading this don’t bother coming to find us. By now were long gone. But if you are reading this simply to know, then I’m writing this for you. If you have found this than it could not have been by accident; I no longer believe in accidents… only fate. The same thing which brought him and I together and I will never regret that. I could never regret him, not my sun. He is the only thing this sick perverse world ever gave me. You will hear me talk about him a lot, probably more than I talk about anyone else, even myself. I guess like all great stories I should start at the beginning. But my story doesn’t start with my human life nor does it start with my first days into darkness. No, my story starts at the most important part of all; the night that we truly met.
“You’re going to have to kill me… because I’ll never quit”. Is what I gurgled out as I lay there, motionless, cold, and almost alone. My borrowed blood spilling out onto the white pristine snow beneath me. Funny it all seemed so blasphemous. I can’t believe after all I’ve been through its going to end like this. I wasn’t done. I haven’t finished. I still needed to find my salvation. “Well…what are you….waiting for?” My legs were numb not only from lack of blood but also exhaustion. I’ve been running from him for months now. Praying that every time we cross paths I win the battle. I’ve been lucky so far sometimes barely escaping with my life and I should be proud of myself; not even a handful of vampires can do what I did. My arms felt like I had swam laps nonstop for a whole day. Here I was lying on the ground and I still couldn’t manage to catch my breath. Not surprising considering the extent of my injuries but still as a “dangerous” vampire I thought my body was a little more durable than this. My eyes darted around first at my ravaged broken body then back to the night sky. God, it looked so beautiful, it was as if the all the stars ever created were out just so they could see me off; kind of like a last farewell gift to me. It was comforting to think that after all the nights we spent in each other’s company they would miss me.
Where is he? I can’t hear him… Damn! Is it because I’ve lost so much blood? Was that making me go deaf? I couldn’t help but panic as I waited for my executioner to deliver the final blow. I’m not gonna lie… I was scared to death. Why is he so quiet? Has he always been so quiet? Why doesn’t he say something!
“We have been doing this for some months now haven’t we Talon?” The voice didn’t sound pleased or angry or even savage . . . it was more like anguish. That took me off guard. I could feel my whole body tense, my nails cutting deep into my clenched fist. I lifted my hand to my face expecting to see a fountain of crimson running down my arm but I saw nothing… nothing at all. “You’ve lost a lot of blood so don’t be surprised to see that new cuts aren’t bleeding as profusely as they should be. Your body is trying desperately to save itself by storing whatever blood you have left. You have even stop spitting up so much blood. I’m no expert but I would guess your speech has improved now.” What was the point in playing games with me now? Here I was a deer in the headlights, wide eyed with fright, waiting for my end and here HE was, prolonging it. Does he know no mercy?
I still couldn’t see him but I could clearly hear his voice. “Come out already! Enough, I’ve lost and you’ve won. Let’s be done with it already.” I could tell my breath was already slowing but oddly enough the labored rhythmic breathing was comforting. For a second as I inhaled the chilly crisp night air, I was reminded of a memory from another life. I was brought back to a time when ignorance was truly bliss. The days when I could walk out my home and not have to impulsively look over my shoulder every five seconds. When I actually laughed, smiled, and truly lived. It was night almost like this. That night snowflakes fell from the sky. Each one nothing like the last, each unique in their own way. Have you ever really watched the snow fall? I don’t mean happened to glance outside for a few seconds to see how hard it was coming down. I mean looked to watch and appreciate it for its untold beauty. Have you ever stopped to notice the tranquility of untouched snow? Or how the moons soft glow off of the undisturbed surface lights up the night like mini diamonds? It is the purest thing left on this earth and I truly believe that. I stood outside on a night like this once. I was afraid and angry that night. Honestly, for the life of me I couldn’t even tell you why anymore. I was there hoping that the snow would cleanse me of my every frustration. I believed that if I took a single flake in my mouth, it could wash away all the bad. I wouldn’t mind dying tonight if there was at least a few snowflakes falling. Of course there was none and even if there were, not even snow could purify me now. Somewhere in the deepest recesses of my mind I couldn’t help but think that I was so far beyond saving now that it was joke to even dare to think otherwise.
“You want me to end it now? Those are very brave words for one who is so obviously terrified. Are you in that much of a rush to die again?” He was walking towards me now with that damn look on his face. I’ve never understood it. For months I haven’t been able to wrap my mind around it. Why does he look at me like that? It was like despair and sadness mixed in with something else? God! What was that something else?
His choice weapon, two bloody Sais hung at his sides. I could still feel them cutting into me. He was unbelievably skilled with those two weapons. On our chase through the woods he managed to get a few slices in here and there but nothing serious. Well, not serious enough to kill me at least.
“Does it matter? We all have to die sometime right? Some just have to go sooner than others.” Now I was getting angry. I could feel my blood starting to boil. “You had your fun, you drug out my torment and crushed whatever hopes I had of getting my life back. So why are you still talking to me? Do what you were ordered to do and “end my existence.” That’s is what you hunters say it isn’t it? I’m sure you have had plenty of practice in your line of work or have you gotten soft?” I had hope my last comment would ruffle him a bit, make him angry, hell even a laugh would have been better than what I was getting. But he didn’t shout, yell, or even smile… he just kept looking at me with those eyes.
“Is that what you think I have been doing all this time? You think ive just been hunting you down so I could drag your death out? Like it was a sport for me? Like I got pleasure from your pain? You think all these months I was the one tormenting YOU?” Where he stood there was hardly any space between us. For some reason that still wasn’t close enough for me because I couldn’t get what he was saying. I found myself trying to lean in closer to him like an old man would if they had missed something important but the action was wasted because it wasn’t that I couldn’t hear him; the exact opposite in fact. Hearing him wasn’t the problem I faced…understanding him was.
“I…I don’t understand.” My head began to thump as pain spiked through my brain. I let out a long sigh I didn’t know I was holding. I knew I was tired but it wasn’t until this point when I realized how utterly exhausted I was.
His voice was hollow, void of any emotion. “Of course you don’t. I didn’t think you would.” I looked to him, his words may have been empty and I would have believed they were if his face hadn’t betrayed him.
That’s when I felt it. I was slipping into a deep sleep, one I might never wake from. At first I felt a hint of fear but it quickly vanished. I was ready for this. I know I had a plan to see through but it was better this way. When I thought of how impossible my plan was this was such an easier journey. My eye lids became too heavy to keep up. I was slipping faster now. The darkness began to creep slowly from every corner. In those moments I thought of nothing but the snow…