As I awoke that evening surrounded by darkness, my eyes still coming into focus searching for the clock next to my bed. Still early only 5:30 p.m., I knew that I still had a few hours before my auto lights would come on and my door would unlock itself. A little safe guard that Jasper had installed for me on my RV to keep someone from wandering in on me before the sun set. We were still driving from the sound and feel of it. We were on our way back home to Los Angeles from Portland, where we helped a few other vampires and humans set up a new sanctuary. That’s what we did as sort of like a job, but I don’t think of it that way. Traveling around the west coast helping make upgrades to protection grids, reinforce walls and maybe even add a few escape tunnels. But this time we had built one from scratch with all the new bells and whistles. Lets just say any vampire would be glad to be there if trouble came knocking. Lightly chuckling as I thought about it.
My eyes in full focus now, the whole room almost clearly visible to me where a few items began to take shape. Since I had a few hours to kill, which was weird to me but I guess I must have had a lot on my mind before the deep sleep. I reached over and grabbed my laptop. Might as well get some work done while I sit here and wait for sunset. After I set up my work across my bed and turned on a small miner’s flashlight. I decided to see what the chatter was about last night so I checked my email to see if anyone had sent me anything interesting, nothing. Sigh?!?
Well time to get to work. I was in the middle of recopying all of my journals to my hard drive. In one way hoping that some day they would become apart of the archives.
Reaching for the stack of journals I had in front of me. One in particular caught my eye. It was my first journal I ever wrote in. It was from when I was still human and from just the beginning of my crossover. Looking at the date made me realize how long it really has been. Thirty years. Wow has it been that long I thought to myself. It’s hard to remember all that I’ve done over the years. Well I guess that’s what these journals are for. Right! A light grin across my face.
As I read through the journal and started typing as I went along, the memory was clear as day.
It was cool December night, a light cool mist in the air. But I got this weird feeling like a storm was coming, A dark storm. My best friend Michael and I were walking around downtown Los Angeles. Michael or Mike as I called him most of the time had been my friend since 8th grade. First day I saw him I was in love, he had the most gorgeous green eyes, smooth black hair that framed his face oh so nicely. And there was just something about the clef in his chin that just made me want to jump right and then. He was 5’11″ nice broad shoulders, nice lean smooth muscles wrapped in a nice olive skin.
Sigh… just the thought of him makes me squirm.
We were both 19 now and on winter break from college. Walking around and making sexual innuendos and while pointing and giggling at people in the crowds around us. That’s when I noticed him in the crowd, A boy from our school. His name was Kyle. Yeah I was gay for the most part. I still had a very small attraction to girls at this time. Mike was totally cool with me being gay, I almost want to say that when I told him, or to lightly say I came on to him one night that some how he knew for years and was waiting for me to say or try something, but that’s another story altogether. Back to Kyle he was very cute for his age. Oh who am I kidding he was hot. 5’9″ Long blond hair as smooth as silk that hung down to his shoulders, supple pink lips, beautiful blue eyes, all surrounded by blemish free skin, and he had a nice tone swimmers build body that was wrapped up by a nice California boys tan. I must have been staring for a few minutes lost in a daze when I finally heard a voice snap me back to reality. “Caden”……”HEY CADEN” Mike said to me.
“What dude. What’s going on”
“It’s kinda like looking in a mirror. Right”
“What are you talking about” I said
”Well except for your hair being a little shorter. You guys look exactly alike” “I mean there are just a few differences, but your eyes, hair color and body’s are very close”
“No he’s a lot hotter than I am”
“Dude I don’t know why you beat yourself up like all the time” “I mean you’re a good looking guy, if I was a chick I would do ya”
“Shut up” Hehehe I said with a slight grin. Just having mike think I was good looking got me a little worked up.
“No seriously a lot of girls at school think you’re hot and if you weren’t gay they would fuck you in a heart beat”
“Shut up. Who said that anyway not that it matters to me?”
“Krista and Jen and Beth…. And Marty” he said with a light giggle.
“GOTTCHA” “Just kidding about Marty”
“So” he said “So what” I replied
“Are you goanna go over and talk to him or what?”
“WHAT?”… “No, no, no. I couldn’t”
“Hey your never going to fall in love if you don’t get out there and try” “I mean you can’t just lock all of your emotions inside yourself like that all the time it’s not healthy man”
“I know. But that’s just me you know that more than anyone” What he didn’t know is that I found the love of my life in him, and not being able to be with him sexually didn’t matter to me. Just his love for me as a friend was good enough for me at the time. I guess. SIGH!
“Well go over and talk to him” “Come on I’ll go with you and help break the ice ok?”… “OK” “Alright” I said but not really wanting to go.
“Don’t worry so much. Like I said it’s like looking in a mirror” he said
“What do you mean?”
“He’s gay to Caden, Beth told me”
“Huh” I replied with a confused look on my face. “How does she know?”
“She said she asked him out one day and he turned her down”
“That doesn’t make him gay mike”
“No I know, that’s when she told me, but made me swear to not tell any one ever, she said that he told her he was gay. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but made her swear not to tell anyone”
“SO how did you find out?” I replied
“Come on dude you know the relationship we have with each other” How could I forget about the girl who gets to touch, kiss and make love to the boy that I love? SIGGGH
Just then mike began to walk heading straight for Kyle. I stood there pausing for a moment. “Hey wait up” Then taking a few quick strides to catch him. Plus I didn’t want him act a fool in front of Kyle before I could get there. Just as the thought crossed my mind Mike shouted out “Hey its Kyle the swimming sensation from school” “LOOK CADEN IT’S Kyle” as he lightly jogged up to him.
“Hey what’s going on guys?” a light confused look upon his face “Do I know you?” he said
“No but we go to the same school together” “my names Mike and this hot stud is Caden” I shot him a dirty look but he just smiled back at me and out of the corner of my eye I noticed that Kyle had a light grin on his face. Mike noticed as well.
“See KYLE doesn’t mind” he said giggling a bit. “So whatcha looking at hear?”
Kyle was staring into a store front window of an art gallery.
“Nothing much just a painting that happen to catch my eye as I was walking by”
The picture was of a beautiful woman dressed in red sitting on a rock by a lake surrounded by dark velvet roses and holding a plate with a piece of cake of some sorts in one hand and in the other a fork bringing a sample of the treat to her mouth. The sky was beautiful a mixture of colors that blended dark to light as if the sun was on the rise. The woman had a look of content, happiness and sorrow all at the same time as if she was enjoying the moment for the first and the last time.
“It’s beautiful so much detail as if the artist was there or say it in a dream of some sorts. But like I said Beautiful”
“You said it man” Kyle said
“Hey if you guys are interested in some nice art there’s a art expo going on right now a few blocks from the Library” mike said
Just then there large flash of lightning that lit up the sky followed by a long loud thunder almost as if the sky was growling.
“Sounds fun to me” Kyle said
Well if he’s in then I’m in. “I’m In”
“It’s a date then” mike said
Kyle blushed a bit as I shot another look over as to say shut the fuck up. He knew the look. “It’s a plan I mean” “We can catch the bus and it will take us about a half hour to get there from here”
“Sounds good to me” I said
We were waiting for the buss for about ten minutes or so when Mike turned to me to ask the time. “Almost 7:30″ I said “Why?”
“SHIT” he said loudly “I’m LATE”
“Late for what?” I said “I’ve got a date with Beth tonight and I got to get home so I can get ready” he said as he trotted over to a cab.
I knew what he was doing he wasn’t going to be so slick with me. A date with Beth Huh we had already had plans to hang out tonight and go get a few drinks. Just before he got into the cab I yelled for him “Hey wait a second” as I hurried up to him “I know what your doing Mike” “What” he responded with a devilish grin on his face. “I know what you’re doing and…..and Thank you! I’ll never forget this”
“Don’t worry about it. Hey my little tiger deserves some love every now and then right?”
“I love you man”
“I know” he said
“I don’t think you do. I’ll never forget this. I will always be there for you when you need me OK” as I leaned in to hug him very tightly
“OK, OK” he said “Now get going the bus is coming and cute little Kyle is Waiting for you” he said with a sarcastic but sincere voice
“I love you Mikey” “I love you too Caden now GO!” as we let go of our embrace and I turned around he gave me a playful slap on the ass and said “GO GET’EM TIGER” I looked back with a playful grin
“I love you” I said to him again “I’ll see you tomorrow” He waved good bye to Kyle and said “It was nice to meet you, I’m sure I’ll see you again” he got in the cab and it pulled away.
I walked over to Kyle as the bus was just pulling up. We got on and took our seats. Kyle didn’t say much at first I guess he was nervous and now that I think about it so was I. “So what’s your major if you don’t mind me asking” “Why would I mind?” “I’m studying ancient history and mythology, and you”
“Well… I haven’t decided yet I’m just not sure what I want to do with my life yet, but yours sounds pretty interesting” he said “Yeah its cool if you don’t mind spending too much time with you nose in the books”
“Yeah I see what you mean…but that’s what college is all about right knowledge” “A person with great knowledge has the power to change not only his life but the world around him as well”
“Wow that was pretty thoughtful Kyle”
“Thanks I guess I owe it to philosophy class” blushing a bit
For the rest of the bus ride we chatted about this and that just basically getting to know each other. We arrived at the expo and begun to soak it all we walked around for about an hour or so enjoying each others company and discussing the art around us when Kyle turned to me and asked “So is mike like you boyfriend?”
“No he has just been my best friend forever. We’ve been through a lot with each other you know?” “Why do you ask?”
“Well you guys just so affectionate with each other before he left” he said
“Like I said we’ve been through a lot together”
“Kewl… So what did he mean when he said go get’em tiger”?
“To be honest with you Kyle” and at the moment I don’t know why the hell I said this but “He kind of set us up if you know I mean”
“Set us up?”
“Yeah you know like a date!”
“Oh I See” he said slightly blushing
“Caden” “Yeah” I said
“Do you ever get the feeling like you looking in a mirror but your not you happen to be looking at another person” as he peered into my eyes
I don’t know what came over me but once those words left his lips I just leaned in and gave him a light kiss on the lips. His eyes widened from shock and excitement. As I started to pull away as he put his hand on the side of my face caressing softly, then pulling me closer he started to kiss me passionately. Our hands began to roam around each others bodies. GOD this was so HOT!!!! I reached down and squeezed his nice firm globes as he let out a soft moan. It wasn’t until we stopped that we both realized we were standing in the middle of the expo with everyone staring at us.
“I think we should go now” he said “Good Idea”
We walked outside to find the rain had started then Kyle turned to me and said “Hey if you don’t mind I need to stop at the library and get some books for a project I have due next week”
“That’s cool with me”
Just then another flash of lightning followed by a loud crash, this is getting weird.
We were about a block from the library when we heard what sounded like a woman crying in the alley. We couldn’t help but be curious.
“Should we see if we can help her” I said “OK” he replied
Again another bolt of lightning but this time no thunder it was almost as if the dark alley swallowed the noise. As we got closer to the woman to see if she was alright another bolt of lightning lit up the alley this time illuminating the woman. That’s when we noticed that the woman was a man with a sinister grin on his face. Kyle and I looked at each other with a very confused look that’s when fear grabbed a hold of us. When we turned to run it was already too late. By this time there was another man walking towards us.
“I’m scared Caden” “Me to Kyle me to”
“What are we going to do?” he said
“There’s nothing you can do” the sinister voice from our once victim said
“Here take our money just please don’t kill us” Kyle said with his hand trembling pulling his cash from his pocket
The man behind us was now in front of us as he looked over at his partner their eyes seemed have a weird glow to them
“Hurry up frank, pick which one you want and lets get this over with I got some drinks to put down tonight”
“I guess I’ll take this cute little one hear” as he put his hand on Kyle’s shoulder
“That means you get the hard way kid” then he grabbed me by the neck and started to slowly choke me out
“CADEN”!!!!!!!!! Kyle shouted
“KYLE”!! I squeaked from under the grip of this monster before me as tears poured from my eyes
“Don’t worry honey he’s got the easy way, you should be worried about what going to happen to you at this moment
It was then I realized that we were going to die or god willing just beaten and raped. It was then the man holding Kyle slapped him hard across the face his body going limp instantly. I could only think to my self that at least he’s knocked out he won’t feel much any more. Oh Kyle I’m sorry. As his head fell to the side the man lunged forward biting Kyle’s neck.
“KYLE….I’m Sorry…..I Love…..”
It was then the man fist slammed into my stomach. It felt like his fist went all the way to the other side. As he released his fist I felt my insides twist and turn as blood gushed from my mouth. The beating seamed to go on forever. Just as my life seamed to fade to black all I could think about was Kyle still with the monster on his neck. And with my last breath blood gurgles and all I said “Kyle I’m sorry, I’ll love you forever, and I’ll never forget the time we spent together”
Then I heard the man above me say “GOOD BYE LOVER BOY!!” as he stomped on my head putting me out for good.
Just before the darkness took me I thought I heard Kyle say something but couldn’t see his lips move
“CADEN, I LOVE YOU TOO……I’M GLAD WE HAD THIS TIME TOGETHER AS WELL NO MATTER HOW SHORT, TO ME IT WAS AN ETERNITY……GOOD BYE CADEN”
At that moment all went
To my surprise my eyes began to open though I couldn’t see anything I could only see what seemed to be like two figures in the distance, and all I could help but think is Oh God PLEASE help me their not done with me yet. Just then I heard voices
“What are you doing Tyler you should have left this one for the slag hunters, why do you feel like you have to save every poor soul?”
“He’s not a poor soul Jesse, just look at him he took HELL of beating
Tonight and he still fighting to stay alive” “His body is broken beyond repair for any hospital only I can save him now, NO one else”
“Fine the when he comes around after he crosses over then he’s you responsibility… OK GOT IT”
“No problem Jess and Don’t worry I’ll take care of the new blood without your help”
“How do you even know if he still wants’ to live after all this”
It was then that I mustered up enough strength to mumble
“I want to LIVE” only to pass out just after
Only if I knew, what I was asking……