This is a complete work of fiction. Any similarity to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental. This story is copywritten and sole property of the author. It may not be reproduced in any media format without the express written consent of the author.
Hello again gentle reader, I have been looking through my files and found several stories that I have been working on. Now as some of you might know this last fall semester was a killer for me. I didn’t even have time to answer my e-mail let alone work on my fiction. So I was thinking that maybe if I posted what I had it might serve to inspire me to work on it more. Who knows I might just finish these stories someday soon. Now about this story, I have been reading a prolific net author who goes by the name of Comicality. He has a wonderful awe inspiring story posted here on Nifty titled Gone From Daylight. If you haven’t read it trust me when I say you need to check it out asap. Anyway I was at his site where all of his stories are posted and he basically asked other authors to take his world and see what they could do with it. Since I have always loved vampire stories I decided to give it a shot. It’s far from finished but I thought I should post what I have so far. I can only hope it isn’t a pale copy of a much greater story. Whether I succeeded or not can only be judged by you.
I may be contacted at [email protected]
There have been many times in my life when I found myself in certain situations and knew they were important life changing moments. Still while not as often there have been other times when my entire world was evolving and I was oblivious to the earth shattering changes. Those moments make up my existence, they shaped who I am and to a large degree determined my fate. I know many of you will not understand my reasons for doing what I did. And even some of you right now are on a blood hunt to destroy me for what you consider a sin. I doubt I will survive for long but before my end comes I have endeavored to set the record straight. And I can only hope that this account will find its place along with all the others in the great Nifty Archives. It can serve as a guide or a warning, only you who read it can decide.
When I was human I always had the feeling that I didn’t belong. I guess I’ve never really felt like I fit anywhere. My whole life I’ve had this nagging sense of being different. It wasn’t that people didn’t accept me; it was just this ache deep inside that always let me know I wasn’t one of them. It’s not that I thought I was better than everyone else, or worse, just that for what ever reason I knew I was different.
It wasn’t until I started school that I began to notice those feelings. Watching all the other boys play and interact was the first time that difference became truly pronounced. I had never really been around other children before. I lived with my grandma on our farm in the country, and the nearest neighbor was about two miles away.
My earliest memories were of playing among the fields and swimming in the small creek that ran through our farm. I use to roam and play all over that little patch of earth. I knew it like the back of my hand by the time I was 4. And in all the days I was there I never once grew tired of it.
It almost seemed as if that land welcomed me like a brother. I certainly regarded it as my friend. And the more time I spent walking its rutted paths and exploring its hidden secrets the stronger that relationship became. Looking back now I can only thank God for that time, because that’s the only thing that has kept me sane since it happened.
It’s never easy growing up and realizing you’re a gay boy. Even those who grew up in the most loving and supportive household still felt that certain pain. The pain of knowing no matter what you do you will always feel those longings, those urges for contact with other boys like you. No matter how much you fight it, or how long you deny it those feelings are apart of who you are as a person.
I was 8 years old the first time I felt the magnetic pull of another boy’s eyes. I didn’t have a name for it then, but I knew for certain that I never wanted to stop gazing into those wonderful, mysterious green eyes. Eyes that made my stomach tighten and my breath race, eyes that made me question if anything was real.
It took me almost another 8 years to figure it all out and actually put a name to the reason why I had these feelings. It took me so long to understand why I would hang on their every word, or get weak in the knees time and time again whenever a cute boy was around.
The first time I said it to myself, those words that every boy fears above all others, “I think I might be gay”, I cried so hard I thought I would die. I didn’t want that, I couldn’t be that, it was worse than hearing the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus isn’t real. I prayed so hard for God to take it away, to make me normal just like everyone else. It didn’t change anything though, no matter what I did it was always there lurking just below the surface, waiting for the chance to destroy me.
I guess my reaction to finding out that I was gay was a typical one, at least from what I’ve heard and read. At first I denied it, like most people do when they learn a terrible truth. I would chastise myself every time my eyes strayed towards another boy. I tried so desperately to control my impulses, my natural desires. But considering that the body is a powerful animal in its own right, it wasn’t too long before my mind lost the ability to cage that desperate beast.
Once I couldn’t deny my body’s urges I fought to limit it. Just quick little glances couldn’t be bad right? No one would ever have to know this dark horrible secret as long as I maintained control. Deep breaths to capture a boy’s scent wouldn’t be noticed right? And if my body trembled when a friend put their arm around my shoulders they didn’t have to know how it made my stomach become a caged animal.
I survived in this state of limbo for a long time. Letting my senses soak up as much of those bad, but oh so good feelings as I dared. I thought if I feed that captive beast just enough that I could keep it at bay. Oh how wrong I was, what a stupid little boy to think I had any control. I wouldn’t find out just how much my ignorance could cost me until I met Ayden.
God he was beautiful, even now after all that I’ve been through I still can’t deny the power he has over my body. As much as I hate and despise him I know if he were right here beside me I wouldn’t have the courage to stop myself from consuming him.
The first time I saw him I thought he was a dream, some hidden fantasy that my mind created just for me. My perfect vision of an angel sent by God himself to make up for all the pain I suffered through for being different.
His skin was a toffee color that glowed with life, pulsing with every breath he took. The color of a carefree summer spent at the beach without any responsibilities, only the promise of endless fun. His hair was a mop of curly perfection, a raven beauty. A shade so dark it absorbed the light around him only to reflect it back at me, mocking the lifeless straw on my own head. And his eyes, that smoldering hue of green that took me back to the first time I ever noticed. Ever had the presence of mind to question why they made me feel so alive.
Thinking about it now I can only imagine how he must have laughed at me the way I stood frozen by his beauty.
“Hi” He said.
His voice was like a salve for all the pain that I had ever experienced. It washed over me and healed every little scrap, every little bruise, every little cut in my soul. And when it was finished making me whole it sent the most delicate little tingles of excitement racing down my spine.
I couldn’t respond, my body and mind had betrayed me. Never before has one boy so captivated my heart. It was like time stood still while my brain screamed out that this was the one, this was the boy I would follow anywhere, this was the boy I would love until I died. He was the perfect match to my tortured existence. He was the answer to everything I had ever wanted or longed for.
He never asked me to follow him, and it never once crossed my mind not too. It was only after we started walking that I became aware of how painfully hard I was. I didn’t even have the presence of mind to try and hide it from him. I know he had to have seen my condition. But he never made me feel embarrassed or self conscious about it.
“My name is Ayden.” He said as he reached out to take my hand in his.
The jolt of electric excitement that shot through my body at his simple touch caused me to stop breathing. I could barely hear the night time creatures above the roar in my ears. My heart raced to new speeds as I somehow found the courage to speak to him.
“I’m Kale” I whispered as the air painfully escaped my lungs.
It could have been a minute or it could have been an hour but what ever amount of time had passed between answering his introduction I was totally lost and enchanted.
We didn’t talk as we walked along the small creek, we didn’t have to. Everything we needed to communicate was said in shy glances and warm loving smiles, gentle squeezes of my shoulder and hand. I can still remember the way his gaze made me feel loved. I know it sounds stupid now even trying to define what happened between us, but it’s the best I can do to make you understand.
“I have to leave now.” He said. “Will you meet me tomorrow night?”
How could I refuse his request? His eyes once again held me captive to his intoxicating allure. In response I nodded, and before I knew it he was leaning in to gently kiss my lips. The lightest pressure and his over whelming scent were all that remained as he dashed off leaving me stunned by his actions.
As I walked back to my little farm house I couldn’t help but replay the kiss over and over again in my mind. Remembering the taste of him and his scent had me so entranced that I almost missed it. Suddenly I saw the sun come up over the fields. And like a sign from god the delicate golden hue of light seemed to signal to me the dawning of a great new chapter in my life. It wasn’t until I was lying in bed later that I realized we had spent the entire night together.
I met him every night for the next two weeks. Our nocturnal wanderings were the only thing my mind could concentrate on. And every time we walked together hand in hand I would tell him more about my life.
I told him how I lost my parents to a drunk driver when I was just a baby. That even though I had never really known them there was a hole in my heart for their love. How I had always imagined them watching over me from above and that I tried my hardest to make them proud.
I told him how I had always been different from all the other boys. That I knew deep down I was an outcast. And without an ounce of shame I told him of my attraction to my own kind. There was something about him that impelled me to tell him the truth, to reveal all my dark secrets. Never once did he make fun of me or show disapproval.
After awhile I grew bold in my burgeoning love for him. I slowly allowed myself to open up and enjoy the feelings he inspired in me. It doesn’t sound like much but that action alone was a huge step in a long journey. One that would take me places I couldn’t ever have dreamed of.